Welcome. Everything said during this chat will be treated in the strictest confidence.<div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Hi there my names Jamie how can I help you this evening ?<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Hi Jamie I’m a member but fell over again<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  You’ve come to the right place tom, I’m sorry to hear you’re having a difficult time again. Would you like to get yourself back to a meeting in your local area?<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  I know where my meetings are just needed a chat<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  I’ve been in G.A. for over 20 years<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Not a problem mate, I’m here to help you. Where would you like to start?<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Well I have a lot of blockers in place so not too bad in terms of financial damage but emotionally I’m wrecked as been on it for a week solid<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Totally understand what you mean, this isn’t a financial problem it’s an emotional one. <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  I’ve dug another financial hole but the emotional hole is bigger<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Our heads get so messed up when we go back, what do you think the triggers have been for this slip?<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  TBH I’ve never stopped only paused<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  It’s too strong<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  my advice is get to the next available meeting. Don’t wait. You said you have barriers in place to help, how have you been managing to gamble?<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  In shops that don’t know me. No more online<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  We are all the same. The urge is strong in all of us and when we are in recovery we are all paused. I know for a fact if I return to gambling I will start again as if I was never away. Plenty gambling left in me. The fellowship really helps me keep it at bay<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  I’m tired<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  And tired of being tired<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Want to cry<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Like a baby and I know that’s self pity so I’m angry too<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Aaarrrrggggghhhhh<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Emotions are healthy and normal. You need a release mate. I would recommend doing the online bookies barring again  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Sorry <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Never apologies<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Not online that’s sorted<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  You can bar yourself from all local book makers with one phone call<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  You need to email a picture over and tell them what shops you want barred from <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  That don’t work <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Do you have a partner? <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  For now yes<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Long suffering one<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Does she know that your gambling again?<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Not this time no<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  I always get told you can have as many barriers in place, if you really want to gamble you’ll find a way. <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  That would be divorce<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  You need to open up to her and get support, this is not an illness we can deal with completely alone<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  She doesn’t understand and the last time I opened up wasn’t great<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  She’s still angry<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Have you ever mentioned gammanon to your partner to help her understand and have somewhere she can be supported and talk about how it affects her<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  She would never ever go not even an option <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Tried that<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Understandable, we don’t realise what we put or families through with our illness, but hiding it from her is worse. It’s the lies that hurt the ones we love the most<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  What area are you from ? I can get a local member to give you a call so you can have a proper chat?<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Hammersmith <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  London <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Uk<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Can u call me?<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  That is unfortunate. This is the Scotland ga service, <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  I know<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/find-a-meeting<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Sorry<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Don’t apologise mate, <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  We have all been in your situation <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  This is not an easy illness to control<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  I can still talk with you it just means I can’t get anyone local to you to get you sorted. When was the last time you were at a meeting? <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Over s year <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  a<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  It’s nice to just be able to talk and get things off your chest, but you need to get back to a meeting asap, what made you leave ? <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  When I attend my meetings regularly my recovery is good, as soon as I start missing meetings that’s when my head starts to go<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Complacency <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  I gambled for 12 years and tried to stop alone and failed every time I tried. Being in the rooms is the only thing that’s kept me clean this long<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Life<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  I’ve been gambling for 30 years<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  It’s a long time and a long part of your life<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  Majority of it <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  A major problem for all of my adult life<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  ON and OFF<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  PLAY and PAUSE<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Understandable why it’s so difficult to abstain. It’s ingrained in us, <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  I can abstain easily <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Tom</strong> :  I cannot remain abstaining <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Trying to change our default settings is a daily working progress, so you find when your not gambling your in the rooms and when you return back to gambling your out the rooms?<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  It’s definitely harder to keep abstaining if your not in the rooms with fellow like minded people all trying to achieve that same goal a day at a time<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Getting identification and reminders why we stay away from that first bet<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  New members coming in a telling us how horrible it is out there<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  We need daily, weekly support to keep us head strong<br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  First and foremost it’s an honesty programme. You need to tell your partner and face what ever that outcome brings. <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Are you still with me Tom ? <br></div><div style='font-size:16px';><strong>Jamie H.</strong> :  Tom mate I’m here, but if I don’t hear back in a few minutes unfortunately I will have to close this chat to keep me from missing any other chats that may come through.<br></div><br>== This Chat Has Been Closed ==<br>Press "Exit Chat" to return to homepage.